I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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