She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
