she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
