I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
a search helicopter?!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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