yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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