hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
