The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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