Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
