she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize