I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
