I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
