apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You were trust falling into bushes
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
