Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
