They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Found your dick twin last night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
