i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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