Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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