I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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