Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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