Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
