i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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