he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
