Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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