They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
