i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize