Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
