how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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