Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
