i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
