I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
