I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
That was before I lit my hair on fire
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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