I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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