hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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