Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
