he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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