i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
