This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
