I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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