after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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