its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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