Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
