She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
