Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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