Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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