im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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