You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
