I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
