Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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