did you get engaged???
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
