Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize