it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
