Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
