your thong is hanging out like whoa
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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