I'm going to jail i love you
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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