Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
