I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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