In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
