your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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