4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
