Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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