as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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