New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
