you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
