its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
