i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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