i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Boobs are out for the taking
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
