Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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