i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
