dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
