She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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